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Feels Like Failure

First of all, I said I was going to start posting my scores for each workout. Here goes:

Strip the Fear

I am shakily up to 25 pounds in my sandbag. Really rough on the upper body and makes my left knee a little sore right now, but it’s a great weight for my legs. Trying to figure outthat balance.

1. Push-up + Clean & Press & Squat & Press – 3/4/4
2. Plyo-metric Jump & Press Up & Tuck Jump – 6/6/6(? not sure if I did 4 or 6 on that last one)
3. Plank & Floor touch & Knee Tuck – Alternate Sides Using the Dip Station & Balance Ball – 9/10/8
4. Reverse Pull Up’s Using the Dip Station & a chair – 12/12/12

While all of these are getting better in form and I am teetering on maxing out, I still need to remind myself to push for time. I know I just gave up when I hit 12 each time on the pull ups. I don’t know if I could have eeked out one more or not. I am SUPER pumped about those 12 pull ups, though.

And you thought that was the hard part?

Now I definitely need to add that this is the only workout I got in, among many other short comings this week. Of course, my rehearsal and memorization commitment is no small chicken and there’s always, well…. life. But I have been okay with none of those excuses this week. Every missed milestone this week has been another excuse to give myself a knock. Certainly not my style since I started this journey, but it needs to be addressed and I will do my best to love on my tender feelings.

I have really worked hard since I started writing this blog to keep a positive spin on things. But have you ever had one of those days when, really for no reason that just seems like an impossibility? I am in a slump of low self-esteem right now that is causing each little thing I “miss” to feel like a big huge thing and take another ping out of my self-esteem. Feedback loop!

One thing that has worked really well in the past is going back to my workouts and focusing on them, then building the rest back up. I’m not sure I’m going to be able to do that right now due to my rehearsal schedule, but we’ll see what I can cook up. My goal for this week is to do something for myself (and enjoy it shamelessly!) each day.



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