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Behind… Even in Writing This Post

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You know what it means to be behind, right? There was something you told yourself you would do. You didn’t do it. You were afraid to do it (and fail), you were afraid to do it (and succeed), there was something else (more important), etc. That goal that you set out for yourself which looked like a shiny trophy that would make you feel like a winner when you grabbed it is starting to loom in front of you and look a lot more like a big, blobby monster (of guilt). You’re feeling “behind.”

Well, I’m behind. I should be on week 4 of running training and I’m yet to officially restart week 3. See how when I said the facts out loud they just don’t sound that bad? I’m feeling really down on my running after the last time I went out and I keep trying to convince myself not to go back out. To just go back to Body Rock. Maybe come back to running when the weather’s not so ridiculous.

I’m behind, but I refuse to let that guilt creep up and get me. Why am I doing this: is it to feel guilty or to feel great? So I’m going to get back to my running, maybe tomorrow morning and, do my best while I’m out there. One day at a time.

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